The beginning is a very cliche way to start anything–I’ve read countless beginnings where the protagonist is simply woken up, or is waking up. If you must have exposition based on the character waking up, shake it up a bit. Throw something at the reader that makes them wonder, or something they’ve never read.

There are are few puncuation, and grammar errors, mainly in the first couple paragraphs. But that can easily be fixed with practice and remembering to keep the nuts and bolts in place.

Overall, I’d say the pace is a bit too quick, and I’d like a little more descriptive paragraphs. How is she feeling? What are her expressions like? What’s going on inside her head? Those are very important parts that one should never forget to include.

Good luck! And if you would like me to fully revise your chapter, I’d be more than happy to do so.

footekelsey@yahoo.com

And, don’t worry about the people with useless comments (aka, below my answer). They obviously do not know how to give constructive criticism.
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